You've been a very prolific submitter recently and I've enjoyed what you've come up with. Unfortunately, once a submittal is deleted from the input queue and the editing session is ended, there's no way to get it back. Since your entries have been of such high quality, I'm going to have to guess that some duplicated existing entries.

Otherwise, I'm at a loss as to why any would have been rejected. Of course, there's the off chance that you banged your head and submitted something that violated the guidelines. Unlikely, I'd say. It's barely possible that someone else was doing some submittal processing and commited the foul deed of deleting some of your work. Unlikely again, for I've handled about 99.44% of the submittals since July, 2001. The final possibility, of course, is that I hit "del" by mistake. Now that one's likely.

You are correct, though, about Canadian involvement. Both Paul Jarvis and Garret Thompson are Canadians. They set up the site and probably account for most of the Britishisms you see in spelling choices. For t-shirts and such, you'll need to get in touch with Paul, possibly Garret. I think Paul once had some t-shirts done, but I'm not positive about that.

You'd be in the running for best submissions, but you have some tough competition recently in Mikhail Epstein and Charlie Lesko. The worst submission (rejected, of course, and with very slight variations) came in from two different submitters in different parts of the country over a year part. (See 2 and 3.) It would be extremely difficult to top. In fact, I sent it to Paul (the creator and owner of the site) to see if he wanted to give it special recognition as the epitome of being wrong-headed about the site. He declined.

You'd have to submit hundreds and hundreds--no, thousands--of words with your current reject rate to get anywhere close to the record on rejects. One Dave Bond (the originator of the Squackle! Dictionary sometimes mentioned) probably has the record.

For most submissions, I have probably two hundred myself--I submit for my family as well as for myself . Since the backend facilities will handle only 40 entries per search, I use multiple submitter names (hd, fowler, etc.) to enable me to be able to find anything I've put in. Charlie Lesko and I have combined for a few submittals, as well. His debut was "debutaunt" and that started an email correspondence we've continued. A word will occur to me and he comes up with a description and an example. To illustrate how that comes up, in your penultimate paragraph you mistyped "editor" as "edior." I've turned several typos into new words in the pd, and there's no reason you can't do likewise.

You've certainly earned my regard as a submitter (49 now), and I'm happy to short list you as one of our premier word craftsmen. Others on my list of special submitters include (for whatever reason they're on it, and their word counts): Adam Leslie (123), Adrian R. Lawler (65), Bent Udder (26), BigAssFries (52), Carlos Coutinho (108), Charlie Lesko (21 ), Dana Friedman (22), Dave Bond (26), Ditnis (122), Isolation Tank (5), Lauryn (82), Lisa Hansson (15), Louise Van Hine (12), Mikhail Epstein (52 ), Nicky Ubben (35), Nita Gale (67), Ochre Orientis (26), and Stephen Mize(117).

Regards,

HD Fowler

Pseudodictionary Editor

"Vae Victis! Woe to the vanquished."
1--------------------------------------------------------

Editor:

Pls. send me via reply to this email those terms which you've rejected. I remember about 3-4, but I know there are more. I submitted them all under my name, so a search on it will reveal them. I have approximately 45 total submissions on the pseudodictionary.

Your editorial team should offer award t-shirts with your website logo on it for Best Submission(s), Worst Submnission(s), MOst Submission(s), Most Submissions Rejected, etc. Failing that, I am hoping for your listing me among your Special Friends.

JUst guessing, I'll bet at least one of the ediors is Canadian. If true, it was the spelling of "coloured" that was the giveaway.

THanks for offering the links to other online slang, pidgin, & dialectical dictionary sites. And thanks in advance.

Sincerely,

Joel Parker

2--------------------------------------------------------

You sent

"Word: Homonymphonecropyrobeastialpheliac

Email: Mike......@AOL.com

Description: A person who has a compulsion to have sex with dead burning animals of said persons gender all the time.

Example: Did you hear about that guy that died while having sex with a dog he lit on fire. I'd be willing to bet he was a homonymphonecropyrobeastialpheliac."

I don't know if you're the same submitter, but when an almost identical submittal came in some fourteen-and-one-half months ago, I wrote the email following my closing. I made a slight alteration by not giving Paul's email address this time. He refused the word before and would probably do so again.

Regards,

HD Fowler

Pseudodictionary Editor

"Vae Victis! Woe to the vanquished."

3--------------------------------------------------------

Well, as you no doubt have figured out by now, this is a backup email address that I don't check all that often.

As to your word "homonymphonecropyropedobestialfelchball"--when I saw it I thought, "Aha! This starts out with 'homonym' (you know, the 'sounds like' word), so it may be all right." Then I saw "phone" and "crop" and thought, "Hey, this could be very interesting. 'Homonym,' 'phone' and 'crop'--wonder where could this be heading?" Then I saw "Yro"? "What the hell? 'Yro'?" "Pedo." "Bestial." "Well, I guess I better start over and figure out where the syllables are actually starting and ending. Oh, now I see what it says". "Homo," "nympho," "necro," "pedo," "bestial," and then "felchball" as the last two syllables.

Yep. You're right. I can't accept it. But that's because the site is Paul's, not mine. He pays the bills. I feel like I would be breaking my commitment to him if I let this one through. Paul, on the other hand, is the one who sets policy, so he can also decide to make exceptions. Send an email to him, paul@victoria'ssecret.. He might decide to put it in. Maybe on the basis that "It couldn't get much worse than this."

Regards,

HD Fowler

Pseudodictionary Editor

"Vae Victis! Woe to the vanquished."

PS: I live in Oklahoma, and lived for a time in Texas. Texas has a lot more people than Oklahoma, but Oklahoma may well have more jackfuckers. There's certainly a much higher percentage of them on the roads here than there have been anywhere else I've driven--all the contiguous 48 states except Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, and Vermont.

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From: "Bryan Lambert" <bryan.......@...........com

To: homonymphonecropyropedobestialfelchballremoveme@hotmail.com

CC: Staff@...........com

Subject: RE: Thanks for catching

Date: Tue, 21 Aug 2001 13:17:09 -0700

Thanks for sharing; your story is a prime example of why, even though I could legally carry a gun in my home state (TX), I do not. The temptation to stage the deliberate and systematic eradication of all Jackfuckers that cross my sights would be far to great for me to resist. Well, thanks for posting my word, and good luck in combatting jackfuckery wherever you may encounter it. I will work on "hanus" and let you know what I come up with. I have one that my friends and I came up with that will probably not pass muster as far as acceptability, but what the hell, here goes:

homonymphonecropyropedobestialfelchball 1. (n): the act of compulsively digging up dead baby animals, being of the same gender as the "digger," having anal sex with the animal while lighting it on fire, sucking the ejaculate out of the animal, and spitting it into the animal's mouth. Due to the exacting specifications and physical requirements of the act itself, this neurosis is particular to males. 2. (n): a drink by the same name; and alcoholic beverage consisting of a room temperature mixture of khaluah, lime juice, whole dairy creme, and tequila. Properly presented, the drink is served "up" in a dirty, salt-rimmed glass, garnished with a gummy worm, and topped off with a "floater" shot of 151. Light the shot, let burn for 10 seconds, extinquish the flame, lick all of the salt off the rim, and guzzle.

I just don't think I could find the words to describe the elation that I would feel upon seeing this word on your website. Let me know if this will be possible.

Bryan Lambert

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Thanks for catching my oversight. Trying to be an editor or copy editor has little in the way of rewards, other than trying to make a good submittal a little better. In the case of "jackfucker," I had a personal interest.

One day recently I was driving along a residential street at at least the speed limit--more than likely a little over the speed limit. Some jackfucker mufflefucked me for about two hundred yards and then sped past me, crossing a double yellow line in the process. Then, less than a quarter-mile away, he turned left into a fast-food place (a Braum's ice cream parlor--Braum's service is notoriously slow) and got in the drive-through lane. I turned right at the same intersection, then thought better of it. Decided I'd try to jackfuck him right back.

Why in hell did that jerk find it necessary to roar around me only to almost immediately pull off the road to place a slow food order? Idiot. No, jackfucker! No one else was in the drive-through lane, so I turned around and went to Braum's myself. I pulled around him since he was still waiting for someone to take his order. I drove to the window and waited there until he pulled up behind me--at least two or three minutes later. I continued to sit there for a few more minutes before driving off. Probably didn't actually impede him since Braum's is so slow, but I did get a measure of satisfaction telling the server that the fellow in line behind me was an idiot. Wish I had known the word "jackfucker."

No real problem with "hanus." I just think it's a word begging for a definition. You should be the one to come up with it. Maybe something along the lines of "hairy ass"? Your call, of course.

Thanks for submitting words to pd.com.

Regards,

HD Fowler

Pseudodictionary Editor

"Vae Victis! Woe to the vanquished."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, as ya na doubt 'ave figured aht by na, this is a backup British Rail address that I don't check aw that often.

as ter your Dicky Bird "homonymphonecropyropedobestialfelchball"--when I Bear's Paw it I thought, "aha! this starts aht wif 'homonym' (you kna, the bleedin' 'sounds like' word), so it may be aw wite." then I Bear's Paw "phone" and "crop" and thought, "hey, this could be very interestin'. 'homonym,' 'phone' and 'crop'--wonder where could this be 'eadin'?" then I Bear's Paw "yro"? "what the Gypsy Nell? 'yro'?" "pedo." "bestial." "well, I guess I better start over and figure aht where the syllables 're actually startin' and endin'. oh, na I clock wot it says". "homo," "nympho," "necro," "pedo," "bestial," and then "felchball" as the Present and Past Bo-le Of Glue syllables.

yep. you're wite. I can't accept it. but that's 'cause the site is paul's, not mine. 'e pays the bills. I Orange Peel like I would be breakin' me commitment ter 'im if I let this one through. paul, on the ovver St. Martins-Le-Grand, is the one who sets policy, so 'e can also decide ter make exceptions. send an British Rail ter 'im, paul@victoria'ssecret.com. 'e might decide ter put it in. maybe on the basis that "it couldn't get much worse than this."

Make no mistake about it--I do not agree with this guy on almost anything. However, he sent me an email telling me about his new site and I responded telling him I would put up a link on my site. I figure all he's going to attract is the like-minded (or crazies), anyway.